Thursday, June 30, 2005

Communication in relationships

I as Farmgal find that I value communication in a relationship more than I value gifts and dinner etc etc This hs been something I have been thinking lots about in the last few days thus prompting me to do this post and probably the next few posts. Whether we are big on communication or not its obvious that it affects many relationships. This post is a reminder to myself and a source of help to someone who may need this.

a) Clear communication is a major key to a healthy relationship
b) clear commnication is affected by:
-what is said
-when its said
-how its said -underlying tone
-how its said - method used (eg face to face, phone, email, etc)
-non-verbal communication - body language, etc
-what is NOT said
-what is heard
-how its heard
-what is NOT heard
-a person's own heart attittudes and 'condition'

There are different levels of communication, the highest level being 'complete openness and honesty' When you get to this level the 'vulnerability factor' increases. This is when we should be very mindful of each others feelings. If you ever reach this level with a loved one then we are in a deep heart to heart relationship. We should therefore mind the following:

a) Dont crush or diminish the reality of the other person's feelings, especially if they have been honest and brave enough to share them.
b)Dont blame feelings on each other (or anyone else). It is better to say, "I feel angry about...", rather than "you make me feel so angry!".
c)Remember love is gentle, kind and patient. It is as we 'speak the truth in love' we grow
d)Most men will need to work at sharing feelings. If after sharing something you can replace "I feel..." with "I think...", then you haven't shared a feeling just a thought!

Good day everyone and I hope you find this useful.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


I'd give/do anything to be cuddled up on a sofa with the one I love, watching some telly, kissing, playing with his toes........

Oh well!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

It hurts

Have you ever loved somebody till it hurts?

Does love sometimes feels so sweet it hurts?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

When someone you don't fancy says 'I love you'

In the last few days I have had someone nag me and tell me that they want me for their girlfriend and yeah I know I asked bloggers to pimp me up (this one is not as a result of that blog BTW) but aii. I mean this guy does'nt get it, he calls me everyday, sometimes I answer sometimes I dont and when I do I keep it brief. I have tried to let this guy down gently but now he is really asking for it. I have told him stories about me not looking and me not being ready (hope he never gets to read my blog) after my previous which was lots of months ago but noooooo he keeps calling. I regret meeting him!

I hate breaking peoples hearts and in this case I can see a broken heart 'coming soon'

It got me thinking about the three little words that get misused all the time and how I have responded to one of those akward 'I love you' moments.

I think silence just says it all and changing the topic works just fine. That's if am not dealing with a dula, well if the guy is a dula then the best response for me is a simple 'thank you' and a quick exit.

I have never been in a situation where I have been required to say more than the above. What I know is you wanna say those three words when you know that the other person feels the same otherwise all you'll be getting is a thank you in response!

I love you guys! Now what do you say to that?

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Whats your love language?

I was thinking about this yesterday....If you speak two or three languages with the ease you speak your first language and you are making out with whoever/lover. Which language do think in?
I'll use me as an example, if am kissing someone and am wishing they didnt stop I wish in English!!!
I have noticed we have people here who speak French, Spanish, Kikuyu, Kiswahili, Maasai, Luyha, Kamba, Luo, Kisii etc etc Have you ever thought in any other language (other than English) during those intimate moments?

Am laughing just thinking about this.........

On big brother for those who are in Uk. I really want Science out of that house he is too loud and he doesnt listen to anyone. He reminds me of someone I lived with for almost a year, he is such a nag!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

My friends' honeymoon

Remember the wedding I went? yeah that one, the couple went to Kenya on a 22day honeymoon. I picked them up from Heathrow the other day.

The last day of their honeymoon they were robbed at gun point, the jamaa was asleep and the chic was having her hair done. There was like sixteen guys in they house (some sort of farewell bash) but they were still robbed off all their mobile phones by four guys wielding guns. Lucky enough the gal managed to hide her wedding ring and in her bra. The funny thing I advised her not to take any expensive jewellery just before they left hence the reason why she slid her ring in her bra!

For someone who had never been to Kenya before she had an experience! She also got typhoid but all in all she had an amazing time and has alot of good stuff to say about Kenya and in Swahili too! The highlight of her trip............eating crocodile meat at the carnivore.

My Emotions

Why do I get so emotional (read cry) when people feel sorry/express their sympathy if am going through a hard time. You see am the kinda gal that likes people to think that I can handle anything but to be honest, somethings I cant handle!