Friday, July 29, 2005

I Miss My Dad

I remember in 1982 on the 1st of Aug we were woken up by gun shots. Being kids we jumped from our beds and ran into the street only to see army guys firing in the air from there huge army lorries. Were we afraid? I think so but being so young sort of killed the fear factor, I think we were more amused than afraid.

I remeber how much I hated it in high school when girls would chat non stop about their dads. "My dad this and that" I didnt have much to say since he was taken from us when we were very young and therefore my memory of him is minimal.

I remember him being very generous. During the agricultural show,he let us have as much ice cream as we wanted and even go for as many rides as we could handle. I was a daddy's girl and an ice cream gal my height phobia (which I kinda had to tackle while painting the other week...ladders my friend ladders!) meant that I could not go on any rides whatsoever. The other good thing I remember about my dad is that he started giving me my driving lessons very early in life, he had to otherwise I'd yell the car down hehehe I'd sit on his lap whilst he was driving and as long as my hands were somewhere on the wheel I was happy!(huge baby smile here)

The bad memories are that he used to drink alot becoming violent as a result. I tend to think that if he hadnt passed on prolly he'd have gotten us killed through drink driving. We did once have a major accident just because he wanted to prove to us all that he wasnt that drunk. There must have been like 20 of us (all family) in the mini bus. He was begged not to drive, I dont remember much about the accident but I remember crying out loud at kenyatta hospital coz I was left in a room alone, then a dead man was wheeled in and left there. My screams must have woken the dead. That guy was either a lynch or accident victim. He had lots of dry blood all over his body.

I honestly dont like the month of August very much, I sometimes forget the anniversary of his death (I prefer to forget just like I do my birthday and my friends' and families') until afew days after the 1st of Aug. It's easier when I remember after the date on which we assume he died than before. The one coming up, well I remembered before. This is very a difficult moment for me, its going to be 23year since he passed on, died by the gun through his chest. On fateful day I remember him coming out of the house shouting for us to get back indoors and to stay clear of the windows, then he left...that was it! We never saw him alive again and my mum then a young mother and his brothers had to go through the hospitals and morgues to find his body then smuggle everyone to the village for his burial. (travelling was tricky then with a ban on movement) Then she lost everthing my dad owned to greedy family.

My worst memory of the whole coup period was seeing a man's body being hurled from the top of a building cause of lack of resources or cops being lazy. That image will never escape my mind and the sound it made when it landed on the earth below. Hope thats not what happened to my dad, I prefer to think he was shot and fell in a ditch somewhere.

I laughed and played through most of the funeral, I was too young to understand. Then my big sis came and asked me why I was jolly yet our dad was in a casket! brethren from then, my tears dried up the following day. I was offered money to shut up, I took it only to open the flood gates/and mouth after pocketing the notes (I never loved coins)

I have a great mum!

but

I miss my dad!

27 Comments:

At 1:29 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger sandman said...

I remember those early driving lesson when I was like 5 or something. I'd go brag to all my friends how I knew how to drive and I'd be a safo driver when I grew up. One time we drove all the way to tao with me on my dad's lap. lol, those are like a hundred safety violations right there - those were the days.

Pole about your dad. ...got till it's gone!

 
At 2:36 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger s! said...

our prayers are with you and your dad. :-)

 
At 3:36 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger akiey said...

I feel for you Farmgal & pole sana about the loss of your dad. Sounds like he also was a wonderful dad who knew how to spoil his then little kids. Try to have the best memories of him & the good times you all had.
I can only imagine how tough it is for you & the family as the date approaches every year but take heart. We're with you & we'll be strong for you Farmgal.

 
At 4:43 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger Milonare said...

Take heart Farmgal...

I'll also say a prayer for you!

 
At 6:20 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger Kenyan Pundit said...

Pole. Having lost my own father and being the ultimate daddy's girl I can completely relate.

 
At 7:27 pm, July 30, 2005, Blogger nick said...

Hey Farmgal-lets chat soon!

 
At 8:33 am, August 01, 2005, Anonymous mshairi said...

Thinking and praying for you and your family on this day, Farmgal.

 
At 4:12 pm, August 01, 2005, Blogger Wangari said...

take heart farmgal,
will say a special prayer for you and your family today.

 
At 4:40 pm, August 01, 2005, Blogger KymmBr. said...

my heart goes out for yu on this day. hope yu find strength everyday to keep going. thx for sharing. I will say a special prayer for yu.
---------------------

 
At 5:26 pm, August 01, 2005, Blogger Farmgal said...

Thanks guys, been a longish day full of mawazo but its nearly coming to an end. Thanks for all the prayers and concern.

 
At 5:34 pm, August 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Farmgal!!
............................................................................................................................................
Country boy was here!!

 
At 5:38 pm, August 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Farmgal!!
............................................................................................................................................
Country boy was here!! remember me?

I told you, you are unique... it takes alot to put all this into writting.

 
At 7:01 pm, August 01, 2005, Anonymous Mentalacrobatics said...

Pole. The memories are forever yours - no one can take those away.

 
At 8:10 pm, August 01, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this with tears in my eyes. Sorry for your lose. Can you imagine if God didn't bless us with memory? and such fun ones you have of your daddy. Reflect farmgal and just be.

 
At 9:08 pm, August 01, 2005, Blogger Poi said...

Your dad sounds like he was really nice.
Memories keep us warm Farmgal. So hold on to those so very nice ones of your dad.

I pray you find peace now & always.

Keep blessed...

 
At 1:48 am, August 02, 2005, Blogger Udi said...

Hey, sorry to hear about ur dad. Take heart and keep ur head up

 
At 6:54 am, August 02, 2005, Blogger Msanii_XL said...

Stay strong and stay up..

 
At 8:11 am, August 02, 2005, Blogger Prousette said...

pole farmgal; am sure from wherever he is he smiles at you for being what you are. You keep his memories alive.

 
At 12:47 pm, August 02, 2005, Blogger Shiroh said...

Such a moving post, we should thank God for what we have. Wish you comfort always.
Sad memories they must be

 
At 10:05 pm, August 02, 2005, Anonymous guess said...

guess I'll put up your comments from ma email dont know how but didnt come up on blog ..here we go


Hey Gal, think of the good memories, those will keep you strong. Being a Daddy's gal also, I feel you on this, and I will say a little prayer for you today.

Keep strong, and know we are here for you if you need a chat and a hug.
XX

~PS: you are SO strong for sharing this so THANK YOU!

 
At 5:52 am, August 03, 2005, Blogger Medusa said...

Ah yes, those wonderful daddies...thank God for them-
There's nothing like those sweet memories to keep you happy, and connected..
Here's to you- from one daddy's girl to another..smile.

 
At 2:03 pm, August 03, 2005, Blogger kari said...

chick that was so personal and moving..whoa...i pray that God heals any bit of ur heart that's still broken..much love.

 
At 6:32 am, August 05, 2005, Blogger Wambui said...

This must have been so hard to write. Am so sorry...suggestion? Poi's post of 17 July 2005?

 
At 9:47 am, August 08, 2005, Blogger Adrian said...

thanx so much for sharing this.
i don't remember the events of the coup, it's just my mom who has told me several times that she's forever indebted to a workmate of her's who was kind enough to drive us from the city centre to my great-grandmother in kikuyu.

be blessed!

 
At 8:06 am, September 05, 2005, Blogger Uzimalife said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:07 am, September 05, 2005, Blogger Uzimalife said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:07 am, September 05, 2005, Blogger Uzimalife said...

The word 'triumph' keeps coming up. So triumph to you!!!!!

God bless

 

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